One year ago today I said yes to a man on his knee, in the rain, in one of my most favorite places. I said yes for a million reason, seriously there are probably a million.
One of the most significant reasons was because I hated the grip that fear had on my life when it came to marriage. In a time where divorce was just as common to me as marriage I was at one point completely paralyzed with fear at even the thought that Tim wanted to marry me. I remember knowing that God has put him in my life to shatter the fears and be a physical representation of the promises of God in my life. Tim was (is) sweet, caring, gentle, wise, and truly feared God; I remember desiring to be with him but also being so afraid.
When he asked me I was so overcome with joy, I can still feel the tears of triumph over fear that I waged war on since before that day. But that was the turning point, I put a date on the calendar of when I would face the fear and a ring given to me gave confidence that I would no longer fight alone.
That's why planning my wedding was so fun, simple, and honestly stress free. Because to me it was less about our wedding day and much more about our marriage. I was in the middle of a much bigger war than planning I was in a war of surrendering. Some days I would just remind myself that divorce wasn't planned for me, that marriage isn't guaranteed to fail, I had to trust the Lord that Tim wouldn't just change who he was a month later. I had to speak truth that generations of divorce in my family wouldn't continue with me, that God would use me to break the cycle.
It was my favorite yes because it freed me to trust God, to hope, to dream, and to depend deeply on someone else. I loved saying yes because I knew it wouldn't be easy, my life leading up to it wasn't always, but I knew that I was accepting the protective love that God has for his children. I wasn't just saying yes to Tim but yes to the provision and love of God.
All this was simply to share with those from broken families and backgrounds that marriage is a beautiful picture of the gospel. It's worth the work, commitment, joy, and love because it's Gods idea. Walking in love, making decisions in truth, and saying yes are all just steps in the right direction. Your story is new and unique in its own way, trust God that He is who He says He is and that's enough for you to walk forward.