Insecurity has been a friend of mine, you probably know her. She has long legs, blonde thick long hair, the perfect size waist, and every piece of clothing fits her perfectly. Insecurity was introduced through barbie, photoshop, mannequins, and Jr. High. I have long fought her and seemed to have won but never felt victorious until I saw myself through His eyes.
The first thing I wake up to his face looking at me like I’m flawless. I am all too aware that I probably have sleepy eyes, morning breath, and my hair is a mess…. but I forget because of the way he looks at me. He looked at me the same way he does when I am all dressed up, make up freshly done, legs shaved, and hair curled…. He actually thinks I’m beautiful.
As I got out of bed and began to get ready; nothing seemed to look right. I tried on everything in my closet, and settled on what I always do. He passed by smiled and said that he loves when I wear black. He doesn’t realize that its because it covers the things I don’t want to see or its a “sliming” color. He likes it because thats what I normally wear.
I go to fix my hair and face… hair is flat and the black circles under my eyes look like I got punched in the face. He doesn’t even notice, he asks why I am putting on make up because I look great without it.
We go out into a sea of people, all different people. They are different sizes, have different styles, and different features. He looks at me like I’m the one in a million. Like you think is only possible on Nicolas Sparks movies. But it happens to me, almost every time he looks at me. I’m his one in a million.
I have seasons of confidence and seasons of insecurity. This isn’t to make you want to get married of crave someone that’s not in your life right now. But to redefine beauty to each of us individually. Beauty is in the eyes of love. Perfect love casts out fear, insecurity comes from fear. The more you know love, the less fear and insecurity resides. Maybe it’s your husband, you child, your mom, you sister, or your best friend. But if you really listen to what they say, you can see yourself through their eyes. Through the eyes of my husband I am something completely different than the flaws I see.
This is to point us to something, or someone. Tim isn’t perfect, he only seems me in part as Christ sees me wholly. Tim’s love points me to the One who is Love. Love casts out fear, God casts out fear. I have had a lot of people tell me that I am confident (they caught me on a good day) I am because He is. The nearer I am to Tim the more I believe what he thinks about me to be true. The more I see truth the more see Christ behind and in it all.
Take a minute on those not so good days to see yourself through someone else’s eyes. The most sure foundation you can have is the word of God, so open that… see what He thinks of you.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, stop staring at your imperfection; gaze upon His perfection.