He is my Father, I am a child... having a child.
First, I'm sorry that this is not formatted and all polished. These are raw thoughts in a journal form more than blog form. So forgive my run-ons, tangled thoughts, and my simple wording.
It’s funny how life works.
I have always always always wanted to be a mom. At a little over a year old my sister was born and I was convinced that she was MY baby; to care for, love, feed, and always be around. I love to share life with people, my mom was always amazing at sharing life with us. So I always knew I wanted to be a mom... so my heart could expand and that I could share this life with my family as it grows and changes. That's my kind of adventure, and it's started.
The Lord has blessed us greatly, I had two showers for baby Eden here in Texas. So many things we needed and precious clothes for her to fill. It made everything even more real, holding clothes that I could one day hold her in…. that feeling brings me to tears. We traveled to New Jersey a few days after those showers where I had another shower, mainly gift cards because we couldn’t travel back with a lot. Yesterday I bought over $400 worth of things that Eden needs with more still on those gift cards. We are greatly blessed.
It’s funny how we can forget the goodness of God throughout the day. Last night my husband and I started “talking passionately” about finances. What he currently makes, school, what I have been bringing in to make ends meet, and how everything is changing soon. We need a little more space than we currently have, so we have to move. Our insurance plan changed, so I thought our monthly payments would go down (actually disappear) for prenatal and delivery but they didn’t. Can we afford to move with an undetermined amount of money? still pay all of our bills? and possibly me stay home with our sweet little one? That’s always been my dream, staying home with my babies to teach and watch them grow. I want to still do the things I love, I feel it’s important for my children to see also. I LOVE photography and creating things. I praise Jesus that I can still do that while being home with my babes.
We are greatly blessed. We forget, but we are. All in one day, I was blessed to buy so many things that we couldn’t afford at the generosity of others… and in that same day I doubted that God would provide a way for ALL of our needs. I allowed myself to feel alone in planning for our sweet girl. I put my sweet husband on the opposite team. I said out loud “so it’s either me or you… you can’t do ministry or I can’t be home with our children….” foolish, unbelieving woman I can be.
THAT'S NOT TRUTH, Lauren Elizabeth Michiemo. You know the truth. Do not dwell on things that are not filtered through the word of God and proved true.
Praise Jesus for a new day! That His mercies are new….. EVERY MORNING. (also so thankful that my husband can forgive my rants in moments like those... late at night). I forget that God has provided for our every need… and more. I forget that I LOVE THIS SEASON, that I have never been more thankful for a gift. I am so excited about this little girl. She is my new favorite blessing. I forget that Tim and I have never had it easy when it comes to finances, probably because God is preparing us for a life of ministry where we have little in our pockets but our hands and hearts are OVERFLOWING. I am so quick to forget that God loves us more. Our callings are more important to Him than to us. He moves to provide for us more than we can imagine. We are greatly blessed to be children of God. I guess that’s what I forgot… that not only am I having a child… that I am one. That I can ask great and impossible things of my Father because He is good. I can still be a child raising a child. Who am I to forget that His word is the same for my circumstances today as it has always been.
I wrote this mainly because MANY of the girls who I have led and have served alongside in ministry…. and even mentored are in the same season as me. Expecting the blessing of a child, maybe even needing a miracle when they look at all that surrounds their little one’s arrival. I do not and will never have the luxury of hiding my faults and keeping these things that God is faithful to teach me to myself. I gave up that when I signed on to be His child and to lead others nearer to Him. This is a reminder to you sweet woman and soon to be momma, GOD IS GOOD. HE CARES FOR YOU. YOU ARE A CHILD. HE WILL PROVIDE.
Luke 21:33, Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6:31-32, Matthew 6:33, Matthew 7:11, Job 38:41, Psalms 34:10, Matthew 11:29-30.
Good Good Father by Tommee Profit & Brooke Griffith, on repeat.... all day!