Time is no longer in normal hour or day increments; it's in feeding and napping increments. I feed her, we play, or run errands; while she naps I try to get things done... and then we do it all over again. I've had to lay aside my to do lists and goals (at times) because she can't wait. She can't process or reason yet, because I can I simply serve her.
Time leads us straight to priorities because time is the greatest resource and wealth that we all share.
It's hard to give yourself fully but that's what motherhood requires. Now, I have a to-do list everyday and if I doesn't get done, I move it to tomorrow's to-do list, it's not procrastination anymore... it's simply prioritizing. I take less clients, say no a little more to prioritize my marriage, Eden, and still give the work I do accept 100%; that's what I believe is good for me personally in this season. If she's happy, I meet deadlines, and I am full of joy... life that day was successful.
As opposed to my before Eden- busy worker, always starting new projects, and never leaving myself extra time self. Deadlines were met weeks in advance and finding time for just Tim and I was super easy. Now these things take a little more intentionality.
I feel like now everything is worth throwing a party. Eating, holding her own bottle, when we get out of the house, when I finish my coffee, when she learned to roll over, when dad comes home, when she wakes up. Life became a celebration since the day she was born.
I know I say this all the time but everything about her is a gift, an underserved gift. Gifts are given to celebrate and communicate love, God is the best gift giver. I am forever grateful for each moment and smile he allows me to enjoy with our babe.
Probably 95% of the clothes I owned before Eden was born were black, white, grey, or denim... monochrome or neutrals were my jam. I remember when I went out on a limb and bought a red dress, you do weird things after you have a baby... I chopped my hair off and bought a red dress. Eden's eyes lit up and she kicked her feet and waved her hands wildly. I learned that she loved colors, now I'm drawn to them. She loves the contrast of black and stripes so I still got my roots though.
This is the last but one of the most important ways I’ve (we’ve) changed. Our marriage, from my perspective, has only become more sweet by becoming parents. It's like we are a team; united in a common goal. We are united in selflessly serving someone else. We are united in loving and cherishing what God has created through us. Our priority is still us being on the same page, growing, and thriving... but we have a constant reminder that things aren't always about us. We've both grown so much individually because of Eden that together we have become stronger and more Christ-like. Becoming more selfless only makes marriage more beautiful and makes it more of a reflection of Christ.
oh motherhood. they say the days are long but the weeks are short. too true. thank you for what you are making me. God is oh so good.